Thanks Nicole. I appreciate you taking the time to write on here about my sitch. The Bd was actually about a year ago, but we didn’t actually separate until April, and then I let him back and didn’t really have him leave until about 3 weeks-1 month ago now. I’m just really struggling this weekend. I’m taking the baby to church here shortly, and H will be over after to spend time with daughter, since he missed last night, and I just want to say to him WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
I know sandi’s rules say not to, no matter how you’re feeling. But I’m feeling so hopeless right now and just feel like I’m faking that I’m fine everytime he’s around, I don’t know how he will ever know that I really really want him back. I just want to ask him what the hell happened to him. Who this OW is, stop denying it, and be open with me. I’m so afraid he will fall in love with her, if he hasn’t already. I’m just really sad this weekend and don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel of all this. My life feels like it’s someone else’s. Maybe I’m just coming to terms with what’s really happening and hopefully I’m getting through the Fire.
I was so tempted to text him last night and say for him to just come sleep here. Part of me thinks he would. Part of me fears id be rejected. I didn’t do it of course. And because of sandis rules I won’t say anything today. I just wish I felt hope right now and could feel ok but I don’t.
