Hi Kech, your day today sounds like mine! I can't remember if I've responded to your thread in the past but there seem to be quite a few of us who have husbands that left after we had kids. Most husbands seems like great committed dads who are team players but in rare cases having kids seems to trigger something in husbands that causes them to regress, become selfish, seek affection from women outside the marriage, and ultimately abandon their wife and new baby. Perhaps it's jealousy, depression, or they were never all that committed and when life got tough they weren't able to rise to the occasion. It's hard to know, but it seems like the most cruel and unforgivable action to abandon one's wife soon after she has a child. You have every right to feel lonely and to miss your old life with your husband. When this happened to me, my therapist at the time said "give it eight weeks and he'll be back." After exactly eight weeks my husband returned but the marriage was never fixed and he left again. Your situation started recently and you found this board so you still have a lot of time and opportunities for your marriage to be fixed although it'll never be quite the same. The resentment, mistrust, and traumatic memories are hard to erase. At the same time the innocent child you have needs you more than ever. My daughter was a baby when my husband left but now she's four and her personality has been formed. She understands everything around her now and even anticipates my reactions when my husband calls. There's a lot to think about. Perhaps the best you can do right now is prepare yourself for the various outcomes to this situation and to try accept that temporarily you and your baby will be bonding one-on-one while you wait to see what happens.
