DB / Detach- Will we ever piece it together

[Did]

Ovr how is your sitch going?

I feel better about myself but not about chance to R with wife. I'd do a lot to find a way for her to be the woman who loved me so much that she put up with my BS in the past. I know so much more and Id give a lot to have more children together and go through the process knowing what I know now. Just how to be happy, be in the moment, no longer blame external factors for my happiness, separate social lives, stand up for whats important to me- dating / romance etc.

What Im unsure of is what to do next. Just continue to DB and be patient is what Im doing. Dont pay in Oct and then we will have to discuss. I plan on saying something like I paid 3 months of support as I agreed and then we talk and see how it goes. But that is going to be a R talk... She has said the stuff about feeling things for me, getting to know me... words are one thing. Life is about actions and what you do. Feel like its going to force her to make a decision and its the opposite of being patient.

Thanks