Saturday morning reflections:

So W and I spend a considerable amount of time together. Mostly centered around food or watching movies. She demonstrates much more respect and I don't micromanage. I listen more than I speak and for the most part, it is working. Still no intimacy. Sometimes I feel like things could lead there, but I try to default to "I'm still going to let her make the first move". This too is another 180.

I still have times when I feel suspicious, angry and resentful, but it is usually when W isn't around. I mitigate those feelings and they go away.

I often wonder if there is something else that I need to be doing. If I have been friend-zoned and I am again wasting my time. Perhaps we are going through a process of a reset and I need to be patient.

When I look to God, I feel like I just need to be patient. When I embrace my God give masculine energy I tend to think I shouldn't tolerate this and should look at moving along.

If there is some way I should be or a behavior I should increase, I wish I knew what it was.


M 53 W 54, M since 98
D15, D19
8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM
until 10/14
7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR
12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.