From my perspective, the hardest thing you're going to have to deal with is lack of detachment. It's hard to detach when you see/interact with her every day. As long as you're still attached, you're plan "B". No one wants to go with plan B. I don't have any answers as to how to do that. GAL helps.
I re-read the detachment post after you replied with this and you are correct I am having a very hard time with:
"The Ability to exercise emotional self-protection and prevention so as not to experience greater emotional devastation from having hung on beyond a reasonable and rational point.
And:
Developing and maintaining of a safe, emotional distance from someone whom you have previously given a lot of power to affect your emotional outlook on life."
I feel as if I am doing well with the rest of the list. But those two parts have a profound affect on me through out the day. For almost 7 months now. I have been unable to let go of her.
I have GAL, I have been doing every 180. I have validated my brains out. But I am still unable to protect myself from her emotionally. I am still allowing what she does to have power over me and my thoughts. I don't like it. I do want it to go away, but I remember from the first time around being told this was like a broken arm, and that I would have to let it heal.
Keep being mindful of myself. Change my reality with purposeful and consistent action. Raise my children. And eventually get to where she doesn't have the ability to affect me like that anymore.
My mistake the first time was rushing to take her back the instant she asked. No questions, no boundaries, nothing worked on. I do not want that to happen again.
M: 29 W: 28 D: 8 S:1 M: 10 T: 11 BD1: 8//15 (physically separate) Back together: 4/16 BD2: 3/18, physically separate 6/18) Here we are again.
