Newbie who is a mess

[Sansa]

So I never followed up on checking up on the supposedly other woman. Got back into town and have been busy and tired from driving and just decided to let it go. Saw the H yesterday, he came home and made my sister and I a cocktail that he had barrel aged and wanted our opinions. He seemed to be in a pretty good mood and we talked about my trip to see my parents and he asked about them. I was afraid but I thought the timing was good and told him my Dad asked when they were going to see him. H replied that he was open to going to see them.

I am a bit confused because I am reading the DR and the chapter on MLC, sounds a lot like my H’s situation and MWD recommends just backing off entirely, not to talk about R, future plans, MC....feelings etc. basically I have to buckle up for the rollercoaster ride. The first few chapters I worked on what I needed from H, how&when to ask, but now I am undecided if I should just throw that out the window. I guess I just have to try and see what works and what doesnt, I guess I just dont want to make a mistake and make the M worse.

I am definitely detaching and giving him a lot of space and trying to be pleasant, doing things for him to show I appreciate him, and taking care of myself. So I guess now I just have to wait and see. We are going away in 3 weeks to see my S at his boarding school to celebrate his 18th bday. I am hoping it will be a good trip, and remind H of how great it is to be together. That’s my update for now, any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.