Husband cheated, left, trying SO HARD to DB

[SteveLW]

Also, again what is the alternative? To pressure and pursue? Feel temporary relief but almost ensure you have longterm pain?

See the paradox? Ever seen a road that needed to be repaired? Full of potholes? Every one hates driving on it? FInally the county come through and sets up construction....and every one complains about the construction! Was it better to leave the road potholed and rough? Or is the pain of construction worth the smooth pavement later?

That is your sitch. You are in a construction zone. And you are essentially saying you'd rather go back to the potholed, rough road.