For now, I dont know how to not be faking it, since all I truly feel right now is that I miss him like CRAZY and think about him nonstop and am constantly hurt knowing he is out living some fun life with someone else.
I told him I have plans tonight and need him here until 10-10:30. He said that was no problem.
I of course cant wait to REALLY detach, but until then I kind of have to fake it.
Steve, This is very true: "kech, I think you are getting hung up on the fear that your lack of contact with him will make his bond with the OW stronger." Thats exactly how I feel. LET GO LET GO LET GO. Cant believe its been a year since BD and I have such a hard time with having little contact. Granted, since BD we have been together more than we have been separated, we seem to always come back together after a week or 2 or 3. But we never really stopped communicating. I could probably count on both hands how many days we have ever gone not speaking, and its not many at all. And we still communicate right now, just not nearly as often as we used to and its absolutely killing me. I have such a long way to go to truly accept whats happening and face this the way I need to. Stockdale Paradox. I need to face this reality. I dont know why I cant seem to. Weve been in such a pattern and I can see now that him having this OW, in our own city for once, is really going to switch this up and make this very easy for him and very hard for me. His previous OW was 4 hours away. This one is down the street and I feel like he just realized how great this is for him. Hes completely moving on from me with easy access to someone helping him along. And im here suffering.
