Thanks exquisite and Andrew for your thoughts. Trust me I have been round and round this and have thought through everything.

1. In my state once someone files for divorce there is no counter-petition. There is nothing more for me to do here.

2. Court-ordered mediation is one year from now. He and his lawyer have resisted attempts to mediate or privately settle the case earlier.

3. The trial is more than one year away, but he can take up to six extensions before the court will become angry.

4. I have all the information I need for the allegations I have to prove. I know how much money he makes, I know what his basic living expenses are. The rest of it is in my possession. Other than the money he gives me monthly, he spends nothing on the children because he does not see them.

4. I have told him from day one that he can see the children whenever he wants. He simply does not see them. There is nothing more to give him or agree to here.

5. The house will be divided 50/50. There is nothing either of us could argue that will change that.

6. The rest of our property was divided by agreement long ago. I benefit from that. He may challenge that agreement at some point, but that will be a legal challenge requiring no discovery and I have reviewed all the cases. The court will uphold the agreement.

7. He will have to pay me alimony. The law is clear. The court will determine the amount. I know how much he makes and how much I make. No discovery is needed here.

8. He will have to pay me child support. The law is clear. The court will determine the amount. I know our incomes and how much the kids cost. All of those records are in my possession. No discovery is needed here.

9. We have no debt to divide. There is no discovery needed here.

10. There is no mechanism I can take to move the trial forward. The court is busy and that is how they assign cases.

11. He has rejected mediation, no one can force him to go until one year from now.

12. He has rejected a settlement agreement (even though we both agreed on all the terms before it was written up) for the last two years. He has never told me one thing about the agreement that he doesn't like or wants changed. He simply says he won't sign it. When I ask him what he doesn't like about it, he refuses to answer.

I have absolutely no need for discovery. There is no information I need from him. The only discovery I would take would be to disprove his allegations. He has made no allegations. I have no idea what he is contesting and what he is not. Should I waste my money and my time taking discovery on things that will likely never be an issue in the case. Should I demand his bank records so I can dip into the pool of pain and see how many vacations he has taken with her, how many dating sites, porn sites, whatever he is into. Should I take discovery into custody issues that will reveal the extent of his addictions and the felonies he committed and likely cost him his job and his professional license?

My counselor told me a long time ago that he will not finalize the divorce until he has a woman in his life for whom he is willing to cast us aside permanently. I think he filed to appease this one, perhaps as a condition to moving in. But as I said earlier, if that relationship is not stable and full of gleeful, lurved up fantasy, he is not going to follow through here. Hence my speculation on what I could do to make him feel like I would always be there for him, so he can cut me loose now.

I really don't believe I am making excuses. There is simply nothing I can do to move the ball forward. After he filed and before I answered, I told him in an email that I just wanted to be done and out and that we could revisit the terms of the agreement from long ago if that would help him be ready to end it. Dead silence.

I think he will keep taking baby steps as this one forces him to act. But as I said previously, if they break up before we are done, he will not see this through and I will have to wait for the next woman to come along and hope that she is the one for whom he can let go.

Yes, I'm doing what I can to live my life. But, I can't sell the house or move (need the divorce or an agreement for that), I can't even buy a new car or take a vacation without telling him about it (financial restraining order that was automatically entered). I'm trying to change my attitude about this stuff and find pleasure in my day-to-day life, but when he is driving by the house, messing with my memberships to things, poking at me and the kids every day, and just constantly reminding us that he is there, it is hard to get past it. I've raised these issues with my lawyer, she assures me there is nothing I can do to stop them.

Although I don't have much exposure to his life, I can see that he is spinning hard and fast now. One minute he is sending FOO videos that suggest he knows what is wrong with him, the next minute he is mopey and sad, then asking twenty questions about their lives, then chastising them for not answering, then minutes later he sends them lovely dovey texts about how much he loves them and misses them. They are sick of his games. They are not willing to take the text crumbs he gives them. They have told him that again and again. Daughter has made it clear she does not want him to be any part of her life and she is over 18 so she can. Son has told him that he does not want to see dad anymore unless he is a priority in dad's life and dad sees him regularly. But still he does not ask to see them.

He is moving in with the OW, but sending pokes and emails to my online profile which go unread and without response. He is taking steps to make sure I am embarrassed when I go to use this membership card or that and which are intended to let me know he changed his address to her house. I have not responded. He is sending texts to the kids to make it clear he is driving by the house and noting changes.

What do I want Andrew? I want to be divorced from him and I want him to leave me alone. I want to help my son excel in school and go to the college of his choice. Then I want to move far away from here to an address he does not have and live my life with him firmly in the rear view mirror. Countdown to that day: 967.