Steve, would you say the cycle is just feeling like I need something to happen every few days in order to feel relevant in my H mind? Because I think thats how i feel. As if letting limbo go on makes him just feel content with his life (his OW and him get to have fun, and then he gets to come here and see me and spend time with D and then go back to his other life after).
I feel like he is just going to forget everything about me in time. Im just being lost in the background somewhere. No more texting during the day, nothing. We have no communication until he is on his way to come see Daughter. Its so bizarre all of a sudden. And I hate that is doesnt kill him the way it absolutely kills me. You nailed it though, it is cycling and I need to get out of it.
Neffer, thanks so much for your help. Did you pull away from your W a lot while seeing OW, even when you were not living in the home with your W?
ED, I appreciate the kind words. I hope you are right, although his anger has seemed to subside the last few days and he just seems A-Ok now.
Davide- "The question isn't whether or not he is creating his own life, it is why aren't YOU creating your own life? That's what GAL is all about. Turn your mental focus and energy inward on creating the life you want for yourself." So true. I feel like I started to create my own life for a few days just 2 weeks ago, like I started doing things for myself around the house to make myself happy, and then he started telling me how all my changes hurt his feelings, which I think he meant just everything, how I dress, my attitude towards things is better, I was changing things in the house, and I started to feel like I was making him sad so I kind of put it on hold. Time to stop thinking about him and doing things for me again.
Lost, thank you! limbo IS SO HARD. Im glad to hear your wife seems to maybe be coming around. You 2 live together also, I asked my husband to leave 3 weeks ago if he was unwilling to be transparent with his phone and who he was speaking with. He was unwilling so I asked him to go. And since then things have heated up with him and OW, because he doesnt have to come home everynight anymore. He is living the life so it seems. Part of me feels like I made a mistake making him leave, but a bigger part of me knows I was being so disrespected by him living here and just living like he was a single man. Its disgusting.
Neffer, 1 more thing, YOu stated that Limbo is for you guys, the WS. That is probably why I feel so horrendous being in it. Doesnt it just allow thw WS to build a stronger and stronger relationship with OW? I know about OW and have told my H I know about her, and he denies it, says there is no one else. Tells me all the time he is sleeping at his best friends house, blah blah blah. I do not bring her up, but when I found out 2 weeks ago I told him I know and he swore there is no one (lie, lie lie). Anyways, knowing limbo is for the WS, doesnt it just allow him to build something more with OW while me, (his wife) and daughter are just at home kind of letting things be. I leave when he comes over, I try to not let him have as much access to me, but im just terrified of him falling in love with her. Im terrified if I dont continue MAKING myself relevant in his life, he will just forget about me and move on with her. Any insight into your mind on this?
