Husband cheated, left, trying SO HARD to DB

[SteveLW]

Remember, you and he are both on emotional roller-coasters. You are giving all of this too much head space and that will always make the emotional swings worse.

So what. He had a haircut and shower yesterday. Did you expect him to give up all personal grooming until all this was resolved? Please make it a habit to read the detachment thread every day. This is what I did. I copy and pasted things like sandi's rules to local storage on my phone so I could read them whenever I was spiraling. When our emotions run wild we forget those good DB principles.

kech, you are stuck in a cycle. You remind me of another poster here that cycled constantly, and still has very little peace although his D is almost complete, and his STBXW has completely moved on with her new life. The real goal of DBing is to get you happy and healthy NO MATTER WHAT YOUR SITCH'S OUTCOME. When we DB to manipulate our spouse we are setting ourselves up for major disappointment, and the emotional damage and fallout that goes with it.