Husband cheated, left, trying SO HARD to DB

[lost8]

Limbo is hard, trying to guess what they are thinking. Don't try to guess!!! You do have to, as hard as it seems, do things to get your mind off of what he is doing/thinking, do things that will make you feel better about yourself, even if for short periods of time. It took me about 2-3 months to fully grasp this concept of GAL and detaching. At first it feels forced and fake but you have to push through. My WW did the exact same, days of anger and disgust, days of hope and positivity, a mostly days of limbo which seem the hardest to cope with. She also spent a ton of money on a whole new wardrobe of sexy clothing that I knew was not for me. Little by little I started doing my self change, got back in shape, new clothes, doing things out of or around the house that I had not done in a while, checking in with old friends. I kept thinking file for D, get her attention but thankfully people here talked me out of doing it for the second time...BTW my attorney thinks I'm nuts now lol.

Fast forward 5 months from my BD and my WWs fantasy world is crashing around her, fighting with OM, spending time at home with me. Questioning whether I have found someone else because of my changes and activities and look. She has noticed but she also is getting the message that I can do this with or without her.

You will hear it a lot here but it is a marathon not a sprint. If you want to see if this meant to be you have to let go and work on you. That doesn't mean discard him but carry on as hard as it feels, it will get easier. I had that vivid imagination in my head what was going on when my WW was not home but I built up defense mechanisms that would not allow me to even think about it by spending more productive time on myself and my kids.

Hang in there and keep posting!