Thank you all. Another rough morning over here. Cant get it out of my head how happy he seemed yesterday and how great he looked all of a sudden. Even though he reeked of booze. I have been thinking I may end up being the one saying I want a D. But it isnt true, and I have been told so many times not to say things unless I am truly willing to go through with it. So its very hard. I dont want a divorce, But would say it in hopes to give him a kick in the a*s and hopefully get his a*s in gear. And then if it didnt work and he just agreed, I dont really know what I would do.
I keep doing this though. I keep telling myself I need to be patient, and then when we have a stagnant couple of days that seem to be in limbo, I feel like I need to make a move of some sort so he wakes up. I dont know. Maybe someone can answer for me, how long did you guys go with not much happening? Like how many days would go by with no drama, not much talking, kind of just limbo? I find it that a few days of that and I start to feel really sad. Did you guys have days, weeks, months like that? Of just letting go and kind of letting them just enjoy their life and just kind of have very little communication and let your situation with them sit on the backburner for a bit?
I dont know if I am making sense, im just curious of how long could go by without a discussion of anything between WS and LBS. We dont necessarily talk about our R at all, but it seems like lately hes either apologizing for how he handled it, or hes bringing up Divorce, or hes just plain angry, or were getting along and hes asking if I want anything from the store, like it just has seemed (in my head) like every few days things were stirred up in one way or another, and right now is the first time its been a few days and things have just been very calm, not much contact, and he seems happy as a clam. And I feel pretty crappy. Is this what you mean Steve when you say give it time? Is it days of really no action whatsoever between LBS and WS and possibly months and just giving them their time to do what they want?
I guess im starting to see that the LIMBO of it all is what kills me the most. The idea that were just separated and were not arguing, were not getting along amazingly, were just kind of stagnant in this separation, only communicating about the baby VERY rarely, and in my head all I can imagine is he is creating his own life outside of us and I am just losing my mind. Finding I dont have as much patience as I thought.
