Do you feel there is anything your W could have done that would have assisted in you returning to her, or did it all need to play out? Over all, how long were you wayward before ultimately deciding to really make it work at home?
I had a two years on-off relation with OW, a coworker. My W didnīt knew about that until OW called her...The moment W knew about my AP she went on three days trip to figure out things. I stayed at home (puss in boots sad eyed state) taking care of S. I knew what I did was wrong, but I was in love with OW, she was the love of my life, my soul mate...but I struggle with conflicting emotions about leaving my family. EA/APs are not unbiased counselers...
My W was ready to go on with her life...I chose my family. But my mind was inmersed in AP fog. Then I found this site and Sandiīs posts...so here I am. As Sandi says, love is not the first feeling that comes back when you are piecing. Itīs respect. You need to get Hīs respect back. But you can control what you can control: yourself.
Let him go if you want him back. Face your fears, if not, they paralyse you.
You need to detach some more. You must be stand for yourself, confident about what you have. H must do some inner work to discover what he wants. Itīs his voyage, it takes time and will power.
