I don't think it matters what he is, except that I would like to strategize a way to get out of my situation, and it would help to get a handle on what was really going on with him to know what might work.
This raises the question of what result are you wanting? A good friend once told me that she would know I was healed when I was defined by what is in front of me rather than what was behind. From your posts you keep looking back at what was. I know that during my own divorce process I also worked hard on getting what intel I could and trying to strategize. In hindsight, all I was able to influence was everything but my ex.
Because I like bad imagery what came to mind reading this morning was a rock in a stream. You are trying to negotiate with the rock. Trying to influence what they think or do. Is it really a rock? Is it a big ole snapping turtle? You are wanting to know. The stream though goes over and around the rock.
What is your end goal? How can you get there without his assistance or cooperation? I think you know everything you can about him and his motivations so you can stop watching at any time. Yes, there is undoubtedly a high probability that he will monster in some fashion if you push things along. For me it was my ex being uncooperative during discovery and then going on a huge rant that she wasn't getting the respect she deserved. I let that blow over me, had all my things together and got to a settlement that I can live with. I was able to influence her lawyer a bit who I am sure was happy to get the case over with and get paid but her? No. All I was able to do was to predict the flow of the water around her (I'm lovin' this imagery can you tell?)
It turned out that discovery was just so that each side was able to negotiate with full knowledge. Since I was more than willing to accept my own numbers and there were no assets on her side that I was going after and she didn't dispute my numbers, we just moved on. The official forms were in part fiction on her side I know but didn't care. I just accepted what she had which was a few slips of paper with various notes. It was a necessary procedural step for the lawyers to do discovery but did not affect the actual settlement document which just said that all property matters have been dealt with.
Anyhoo - just my 2 cents.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
