Hi guys, back again with an update on my sitch. She came over today for me to help her make a contract for a cleaning job she got (I am in the business as well so I have some pre-made contracts). Anyway, when she got here she was dressed up (surprising), she could tell I was impressed even though I tried to play it off. I complimented the dress and that was it. She asked if I had eaten, I said "No not yet, I'll help you with the contract and then I'm going to go eat". She said "I want to take you somewhere, you'll like it", and I said sure. So she drove me to this rooftop bar/restaurant. We get there, watch the sunset, and chit chat. I was totally not expecting any of this so I'm in shock, but I know I played it off well, I kept my cool.
We chit-chat for a little while (about work, kids, etc) and she brings up "us". Says that she feels sad that we are apart since we have had so many nice moments together ("like this one" she says, referring to us at the rooftop bar enjoying the sunset), but at the same time she feels relaxed that we aren't fighting like we used to when we were together. I just responded "yes I agree, we have had nice moments together". She said that she misses it but that she's afraid to go back to the same problems. I responded "I agree and I don't either, I couldn't imagine that life again" (which is true). I also said that I am still going to therapy and that I am happy being alone and learning to be alone. She held my hand and things just felt different, I leaned in and kissed her (which would have never happened since BD, trust me). I told her that whatever happens is fine with me, and that if we ever were going to try again that things wouldn't be the same, we have to do it different. She said she just needs to think about it.
We get back to my house, make the contract, and she's sitting on the bed (my computer and printer are in my room) I then sit on the bed next to her, and lean in again to give her a kiss. One thing led to another and we had sex (again, hasn't happened since before BD, 4 months). I've known her for a very long time, and I can honestly say, if her heart isn't in it, she won't have sex with me. I know many of you will disagree, but it's just something I know about her.
Afterwards, we laid there for a little while and then she said that she had to go (it was getting late and we both work tomorrow). I did get a little needy (not too bad like before) and I said "I hope you think about what we talked about, I feel as though we can work it out, we just need to take it slow". She said that she promises she is going to think about it (first time hearing something like that since BD). I walked her to her car, and said "be careful driving, I love you" and she responded "I love you too". She could sense that I was shocked and she said "Yes, I still love you, I'll talk to you tomorrow, goodnight".
That was it, completely unexpected. I never expected any of this to happen at all. I feel as though I played it cool and confident and it went well. At the moment (she literally left 30 minutes ago), I feel as though whatever happens I will be fine, and I truly don't expect anything to happen. I don't have my hopes up. I plan to keep being detached and GAL. Obviously I'd like to R but don't expect it at this point. Just in shock about what happened tonight since I didn't expect it. Will see how it plays out and I will keep you all updated!
