Ya, I cant imagine BD around Christmas. Its been a year since BD and for some reason family get togethers for me feel the hardest. We did spend the holidays together and all that but just other family birthdays and things he would normally be a part of, he would work through last year last year and it was so hard for me.

It feels so unnatural to be with everyone and him not be there. And considering our baby is only 6 months, we havent DONE family things him, me and the baby. He doesnt even know what it would be like in order to miss it. But I sure hope he will miss us. Catching myself trying to find meaning in him no longer reaching out to me the last few days, and trying to just stop my thoughts. I still see him at night because he comes over but I leave. Just doesnt seem to be reaching out during the day at all. frown Im a broken record I know. Moving forward. Like you said, he needs time and space to even have a chance to miss us.