So it looks like you are getting close to a year from when she moved out and maybe even a little bit longer since you probably knew that something was wrong before the A was exposed. My D was final in April and I really felt like I started to hit a sweet spot around 1.5 months ago so for me it was close to about 1.5 years from the time she moved out of the house until now.
I just think you have to be patient with yourself. My XW moved out 3 weeks after BD and I pretty much went NC from that point on unless it involved our daughters. If you only started distancing yourself from her and the emotions since you came to the board it might take you longer.
Truthfully the only thing that really resembles a magic bullet to heal yourself has to do with you and your self-esteem. If you do the work physically, emotionally, and spiritually.....the quicker you get your confidence back and turn yourself into an azz kicking machine and realize that you are a Sexy Mother Fucher.......the sooner you will forget about her.
It feels like a dead end because it is. But your realizing it is important and a prerequisite to feeling better. Now you need to do what you do in "real life" when you run into a dead end: head in a different direction that allows you to keep moving in your journey.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
I Admittadly saw pics of her trip with om recently. Made my blood boil to see her use the word love refrencing him. I thought i had made such good headway. Then killed it. Stupid. Why hasnt this dulled yet?
I feel very conflicted. New R is going really well. How can i be falling for a woman if im still experincing attachment to EX?
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
I am sure there are many instances of things that you have wanted in life, but you can't have.
This is another. You just have to accept it. Like if you wanted a job very badly and you didn't get it. You have to accept the decision of the employer and move on. How would you handle that?
You are saying you just want her to hear her regret her decision. You didn't say you were hoping she would come home and restore the marriage. It's something you want to hear that isn't going to change the outcome of anything.
It's apples and oranges if you want her to regret her decision so you guys could reconcile. But you have stated you do not want to save this marriage.
You just want to hear her say she regrets this to make yourself feel better. We all wanted that. But almost all of us live without it.
I Admittadly saw pics of her trip with om recently. Made my blood boil to see her use the word love refrencing him. I thought i had made such good headway. Then killed it. Stupid. Why hasnt this dulled yet?
I feel very conflicted. New R is going really well. How can i be falling for a woman if im still experincing attachment to EX?
And here comes Ginger being the bearer of the truth.
You aren't falling for this new woman. She is a band aid right now. Being in a new R before you are mentally out of your last one rarely works and is usually very unfair to the other party involved.
I think you are looking outside of yourself to find a quick cure, when really, the work takes time and it is only within yourself.
