Thats a great suggestion. I think I have a lot of fears right now. My biggest fear is anything concerning daughter. It is going to be very hard for me to give up time with her, etc. And then Id say my other biggest fear is him falling in love with OW. Treating her how he used to treat me. My H fell in love with me and he just really protected me always. He would do anything for me, and not in like a monetary way or in some huge showy way, just in little things every day that came so natural to him and to us. We were just everyones favorite couple, as ridiculous as that sounds. We were the first ones out of his group of friends to really settle down, and I think his friends always felt like I came into his life and kind of took care of him in a way.
I dont know how to explain it, we just really complimented one another. We had really different upbringings but it all played a role in who we are and how we were together and we just really LOVED one another. And I see now that in these OW, he is looking more for someone with an upbringing similar to his. Someone living a similar lifestyle to the one he has now. I felt like when we got together he was so proud to be with me. And now its like he just wants someone TOTALLY different. As if the thought of taking care of me and being a family with me is too hard to achieve, like he cant give me what he all of a sudden thinks I want. So he is going after women that he feels like he can be a man for in a way. Women that will look to him and need him more than he felt like I did. And im terrified that in this process he will fall head over heels for someone the way he has always been for me for 8 years and he will make them a priority and start putting them first and thats enough to make me lose my breath.
I think I really felt when this first happened a year ago that he would realize really quickly nothing really compared to us. And I think sometimes he felt that way, but it never really FULLY brought him back to want to work on us. It would bring him back but not enough and he would go right back out to this new lifestyle. Ive lost him, I get that. But I guess im afraid of him really falling for another woman the way he fell for me, and him just forgetting what we had and keeping this rewritten history as his perception of me and of us. I guess I could just print this out and set it on fire!
