Husband cheated, left, trying SO HARD to DB

[SteveLW]

kech, you seem to rise and fall on everything he does or doesn't do. So I want to share something again that you've probably already heard:

It always get worse before it gets better.

So brace yourself for it. This a necessary part of the process. I think he is going to get to the point where you will not hear from him for a long time. Days for sure, weeks likely, and maybe even months. So you need to buck up and prepare for it.

The reason I say that if it happens it is a necessary part of the process is that right now he is using your D as an excuse to be around you and present what he want to present. He will get to a point where he thinks he is ready to move on with OW, and will pull back. This is the necessary part: he has to do this to realize that he misses you and D. And being a family. He will get to a point where he will have to make a choice to continue to move forward with OW, or come back to his family.

None of us know what he will choose. However, it will be important for you to give him that time and space to figure it out. You will be tempted to reach out to him. You will be tempted to say things like "I can't believe you don't want to see your own child!" You will be tempted to snoop (drive by the bar, ask other people about him, stalk him on FB). None of that will do anything but hurt your sitch.

As another anti-divorce expert says the walkaway spouse will come back WHEN they want to come back. You have to remain patient and give them the time and space to want to come back. Think of the John and Mary story.

Anyway, there is a high likelihood that he will continue to pull away before he can ever decide to come back. You need to be prepared for it. If not texting you every morning sends you spiraling imagine what days, weeks, or even months of no contact will do to you. Brace yourself.