What W doesn't realize yet is that I still don't intend to FORCE S to live with me and cut her off. I want her to step up and be the best person she can be for S, and get her life under control. I think she got the message loud and clear. I'm fine with her spending time with S, and I wouldn't try to stop her. But the poor decisions where he's involved are done, and while I will be playing it cool, I retain the authority to cut it all off. I hope I never have to do that.
Can you expand on this a bit? I am not sure what you mean. First, full custody is temporary. This means at some point she is going to come for 50/50 custody. Are you consulting with a custody attorney to make sure you have a legal standing for this?
Also, she has full visitation rights, but you can say no. I assume you mean that through this power of no you will try to control her decision-making. Is that what you are talking about? I assume you are talking about her having him around OM and the snakes. Again, you may want to consult a custody attorney because I am not sure OM having a criminal background (short of child molestation) nor a few reptiles in aquariums give you the "authority to cut it all off".
blackmac, I fear that you are going to try to use custody of your son in order to try to control your STBXW, and to punish her for things you don't like especially in relation to OM. That is not the right approach. Notice, I didn't even say not correct, though it is also not the correct approach if you ever hope to R with her someday. But it is also morally and ethically wrong to use your kids to get back at your WW. I hope I am reading all of this wrong, but it does seem that you are trying to exert control over her through your S.
Finally, I would be ready with a lawyer. I know you said you can't afford one, but I have a feeling, based on your STBXSiL's text message, that this fight is not over. (By the way, I would have advised you NOT to respond to STBXSiL but well done on just validating her in your response.) As she tells people her side of mediation she is going to get a lot of advice to get a lawyer and fight.
Last edited by Steve85; 09/20/1812:27 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
