Here we go again.

[ED133]

2 years ago WW had an A. Him and his girlfriend were in our circle of friends. We had been to each others houses etc. She had told me she was "speaking to him" but that was it. A few weeks prior to this she was talking about divorce and how we needed to end it.

What I didnt know was she bought a plain ticket to go on a sales meeting out of state. But he told her not to come (1st time he dumped her). So she planed a great vacation for us instead. Instarted off great. Then the 2nd day I caught her hiding her phone when I came into the room. He was contacting her again. She pulled away and that brought him back. This is when she told me that they had had sex. Which I guess I kind of thought it anyway. The rest of vacation was a bummer as I could sence her distence from me. When we got home I snooped her phone and found emails from him sucking her back in with the ILYs.

We had a big fight before she went to work. She actually went in early. I drove to her work and she wasn't there yet. She was meeting OM at his place of work. I called OMs girlfriend and told her what was going on. She said he just told her he loved her and was staying with her. I informed her that the same day he said that her he was emailing WW that he loved her. A few hours later WW told me he texted her that he was staying with girlfriend. (Breakup 2).

A few weeks go by and marriage isnt good. WW distant. Still wants a D. Denied communicating with OM. Which she was. I found texts. They were bad. Talking about sex. I had not read the DB books yet so I was doing everything wrong.
I begged her to tell me what was going on. She just needed to be alone, wasn't leaving me for anyone. Finally one day I had had enough of the stress. When she is feeling bad or upset, especially if its her fault she will avoid confrontation.
I gave her 10 minutes to talk to me and be honest. She refused so I sent pics of texts to his girlfriend.

This blew everything up. Girlfriend kicked OM out. He spoke to WW. She packed a bag and they were off. Stayed at hotels for a couple days until WW got an apartment. Now be for all this happened I told WW this guys is using her. He sa8d he loved her but his text did not seem loving. We all remember how gushy our texts are when we are falling in love.
Anyway, they get the apartment in her name only. I actually helped her move stuff in. (This was pre DB). The second night there he cmes there and says he is staying with his girlfriend. She is crushed. Immediately calls me and says you were right about him.

I of course think this nightmare is over now and we can get back together. Nope. She still thinks we need a D. House was listed but never ended up selling in 6 months. I found on some website talk about not chasing them and they will come back to you. That was the extent of the info. So in my crude way I started to DB. And it started working!! She did date a couple of times, nothing serious. When her 3 month lease was up on the apt she moved home.

We were doing MC and eventually the counselor said we were good and did not have to come back. I was happy. The problem was we had talked about my issues that contributed to problems but we never dealt with WWs issues. Also never worked on how to deal with the affair and aftermath. When looking for a therapist make sure they are promarraige .ours was good and highly trained but more of a individual therapist.