I've been reading your thread and feel really touched by it. I have an S16 and although there is np violence and no cheating. My W and I separated in May and my S permanently lives with me. He is so angry at his mom for giving up. First thing I want you to know - it will not be easy! You are dealing with a teenager who has their own issues and adding to that- their world as they know it is falling apart. Get her to IC if you can. Do not let these negative thoughts reside and fester within her- better for her to get it out. If not IC go to a school councilor or clergy member if you follow the church or someone who can help. When you spend time with D - be present really be mindful of what she says and does. Let her know this is NOT her fault and she had no part in it. Reach for those memorable moments -try to give her positive memories that she can keep with her about this difficult time.Get connected with her friends it gives you commonality and things to talk about. Be vigilant for signs of depression- lack of motivation, over sleeping always in some sort of pain or discomfort- cutting, just to mention a few. Take her to the doctor if necessary. Make sure your D eats and sleeps well and one thing that I found helpful is to establish some sort of routine for them ( they may not be able to think straight with all that is going on). Know that it is beneficial to them to have a HEALTHY relationship with W but what my priest said was they are old enough to form opinions and process information for themselves- allow them to heal on their terms and in their own time frame. Last but not least - BE OPEN. Keep the door to communication open- keep mind open to signs both positive and negative and act accordingly. Keep your HEART open for both your D and your W. Love with all your heart!! Stay Well- Blessings!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
