God I remember reading your thread, IH, the very first one I've ever read here. And it took me time to figure out the order of it all.
I know you are more laid back about this, but I don't know why you don't just go for it. You say it's no big deal and you're planning on her not wanting R with you. So why not just go for it and lay down the ultimatum? What do you have to lose? It seems like both of you don't want to let go, maybe it's time for some pursuit. You say you're such a different guy, well this would be different. And if she says no, then you just smile and let her know that if she needs anything in the future that you might be busy. Then it's left foot right foot, on out the door.
Of course, what works for me doesn't necessarily work for you. I am praying for you.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.