Not sure DB is working? AnotherStander help!

[Jlh]

So today I had a job interview for work during midday hours at the nearby elementary school. Later I had a back to school night at my son's school where I signed up to be a room mom as well as an at home volunteer for when the teacher needs help with projects. I'm also an art show volunteer.

H didn't want to go saying that he would just be chasing our son all over while I did the talking to teachers. I didn't push it and later made it known that it was a quiet classroom while talking to the teacher. He looked remorseful for missing out. I also watched his face fall, yet he looked intrigued, when I mentioned my job interview and school help. he never asked and I never offered any other info on it all.

He left looking like a beaten dog with his head down and it hit me that I'm happier than he is! I mean, I feel like a mess but I'm happier than he is. He can't say that I'm bringing him down because I'm bettering myself for me. I'm the one working on myself and being happy step by step.

It stinks that he needs to work his way out of his tunnel of hell but there's nothing I can do for him and I think I get it now. I can only take care of me and help myself grow. If he comes back and wants to join me again, that's another story but for now I realized that hes the one miserable and it seems to show more and more, like he can't hide it as much like he used too. That's why he can't or wont look at me and that's why he runs, because I'm getting my act together and growing. I wonder how badly it hurts midlife people to see their spouses growing and moving forward without them while they're stuck in their misery.

So there's my eyes opening. I'm sure tomorrow or the next day I'll feel blue and miss him, but I know now that its not me who was the misery in our home now that I'm growing more and more.