The beginning of a long and painful journey

[hoosjim]

Raw, i gotta agree with the others, here. I can tell you from personal experience that when you are in "that place" (and we pretty much all have been there, at least those of us with Wayward or walkaway spouses), you need to just force yourself to DO something. Anything. Worst thing you can do is just sit around and stew. Do some of the things you used to enjoy doing back when you were single, and/or find some new things. If it all seems too overwhelming, and sometimes it can, just pick ONE thing to do. Maybe even just one productive thing around the house, a task you can check off your "list" and say "Yeah, I've done that." Then do another, and another, and another. Then add something fun and enjoyable or at least distracting in terms of leisure, entertainment, or self improvement. For my part i found the two things that helped me the most were 1) Faith and 2) Fitness.

If you are so inclined and are a person of faith, go to church (or go back to church if you used to go but then stopped). Heck, even if you are not a person of faith, get out there and find a church-- there are many, many churches out there, especially more modern revival-type evangelical churches, that don't care if you are a member or even if you're a "believer"... they just want and would welcome you there. And quite often the messages at these and other churches can be quite uplifting and helpful even if you yourself are not a believer. For me, my faith was a lifeboat, a source of comfort and security that kept me from sinking when all around me looked stormy and hopeless.

As to fitness, being in shape quite simply helps you feel better emotionally. I myself find it almost impossible to feel depressed when i am working out and the endorphins start flowing. Plus, it can make so many other things in your life better-- how you feel at rest, how you sleep, the activities in which you are physically able to engage, particularly as you get older, how much attention members of the opposite sex pay to you (which is never a bad thing.) In my case, I combined the two-- i found a church that really "spoke" to me, but they also have a heavy online presence and, while i was working out, i would listen to old sermons given before i started going. I actually still do this.

Anyway, good luck, and God Bless. But, whatever you do...

DON'T JUST SIT AROUND!!! GET UP AND GO DO SOMETHING SOLDIER!!! <SMACK!> (Consider that latter sound effect your 2x4 for the day!