I most definitely did not drop the hammer immediately or ever I guess. But that is amazing how well he stood his ground and laid down the law. I am going to have to take a page out of his book.
I have read it is better to keep things between us, as not to involve family members (I think thats one of Sandi's rules) but I have heard that exposing works for many people. At this point, my H sees himself as unmarried I think, and thats how he justifies what he is doing. And i know the OW very much sees herself (or saw herself last Saturday) as in a relationship with him. I have not looked at her social media or anything since then. It is too upsetting to me so I have removed myself from all of that.
I am not snooping at all, and I think it helps me feel better day to day. WAY too much anxiety involved in knowing I might find something that could absolutely devastate me. I lived that way for the last year, checking fb constantly of the first OW, I cannot put myself through that again. Literally debilitating to my days. It was horrendous. Never any pics of H, but just words and things i knew she was talking about him. Enough to literally make me vomit daily from it. It was such an awful time and I dont ever want to put myself through that again with this new OW, so I hve not been on FB since finding out.
I will not live in an open marriage either. So I guess we will see where the divorce discussion goes. I think I will read Starkys post a few more times and get some motivation. But I know not to lift a finger in divorce sitch. Let him handle it if he wants it, etc.
