Hoosjim's 16th. Looks like we're piecing, folks.

[SteveLW]

hoosjim, I would advise against it. You know that I am also in R and piecing. And while someday I might share with her DBing etc, right now I still can't trust that a relapse won't occur. Maybe you are more sure than I am but I want DBing at as my advantage if anything were to ever flare up again. Maybe years from now when she has been consistent all that time then I can feel comfortable sharing that.

Of course, my sitch is that her EA was her second, the first occurring in 2005 (when I first found DBing).

Also, I've recently started talking about how hard piecing and R are! You alluded to in your latest post. It takes work and effort. Sometimes, not sure about you, but for me I've questioned if I made the right choice or not. So many come here wanting to R above everything else, but what if the WS never gives up their waywardness? What if they are narcissistic? Or have other personality and emotional deficiencies? On and on. While we are a DB forum, sometimes the answer is to run away from the toxic spouse as fast as you can and do not look back.

I think guys like you and I have a lot to offer to posters that are in a situation where they need to just cut bait and move on. You and I know how hard it is EVEN after the WAS recommits to the MR and is willing to work. So for those whose spouse refuses to recommit fully, what should the LBS do? Try to R at all costs? Maybe not. Especially, as you and I are all too aware, when infidelity has played a role.

Anyway, always good to hear from you and get an update! Glad the financial secret was just a bump in the road!