Thanks all. Took a little time off the boards to focus on GAL, which has really helped. Decided not to intitiate contact with my W.
In the midst of GAL, I have been getting a lot of attention from women, which has been validating for me. I always have gotten a lot of attention, but the last 8 months, I haven't really been attentive to it. The fact that I am noticing it more and more goes to show how well I am doing in detaching and really being happy with myself again.
Just heard today that my W is spreaading some insane lies to friends as well as aI ijnyone that is willing to listen to her. I knew when she said that is was all her fault she was full of it. She's been saying I am abusive, bipolar (LOL!), sexually deviant and not willing to go through marriage counseling... Umm, I went up to her where she currently is almost 1,500 miles away a coupleof months ago and had marriage counseling over an 8 day period.
I knew she was unstable, but I never thought she would resort to this level of maliciousness. I think it plays into her conflict avoidance as well as her need to look like she is "pure" and a victim should thel divorce happen.
To summarize where I am at, in terms of worldly love (emotions and feelings), I do not love my wife. This can obviously change for the both of us if things were ever to work out. In terms of the marriage covenant and my vows, I do still love my wife (love as an action). I have a strong desire to address the things she has been saying, but I doubt she will even talk. Next convo we have I will state she can feel free to move forward with filing, but I will not provide any assistance.
