The art of losing isn't hard to master

[DnJ]

OneArt - That is fantastic. “Letting go for me” - awesome!

I understand that embarrassment and the oddly freeing feeling.

You are a good person. You do not want H to be hurt or to be at fault for it. Don’t worry you are not at fault, your good qualities shine through.

Here is rest of my advice.

For years I worried so much more about him than myself, and indeed more than my children as well. That is a big reservoir of shame that I will have to dip into before long.

Deal with this.

Let go of the fear and the shame. You did the best you could.

I also worried about W far more than I should have, and at the cost of me and my children. And look what I recovered / discovered. Don’t fret, things are alright and will be so much better.

So wade into that pool of seeming shame, and walk through to the other side. It is not the big reservoir you think it is, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Let go and forgive - yourself!

That is my single most important bit for you right now. Forgive yourself. Don’t worry about forgiving H or let him go. All that will be so much easier once you have forgiven yourself.

We are hardest on ourselves. Espically those of us who hate to quit. Once you forgive you, forgiving H will be more within your reach. You do this, and letting go, and all the rest, falls into place.

A look into your future. I have forgiven myself, and W. The two most difficult people and events I had to forgive, and it is an ongoing process that get easier as it goes. Forgiving other people’s transgressions by comparison is a snap, no one has ever hurt me or let me down as much as W and myself. Once I forgave, compassion and contentment now reign for most of my life.

OneArt, from my view you are right on the cusp. Don’t be afraid, trust, it is so worth it. I am right here, supporting and encouraging you. I know what you face, and I know you can do it.

(((OneArt)))

Your friend,

DnJ