Husband cheated, left, trying to DB

[burned]

Do the DB pros have ideas about how to validate and set boundaries at the same time? "H, I know it's important to you to spend time with your baby. I understand that when I ask you to be specific about WHEN you'll want to spend time with her, it makes you feel that I'm being controlling/difficult/etc. However, it's important for children to have regular, positive, and predictable interactions with their parents, and the inconsistency with which you have been visiting may not be ideal for our child. Therefore, I would like for you to tell me if and when you will be coming by. If you don't, I will assume that you aren't coming by at all."

I dunno, something like that?

Edit: then grab a notebook and start keeping track. Monday: texted him at 8 to ask when he would like to see his daughter. Went to bed at 9 and didn't hear from him. Tuesday: he texted to ask to spend time with her. I responded that he is welcome to come over whenever.

Then you have data to work with. "You never let me see her!" "No, H, here's a list of the days when I encouraged you to come see her, but, because you didn't respond, you were not able to see her."