It does seem like me sitch is different to many others on this thread. Due to what I perceive to be my W’s issues drinking while on SSRI antidepressants she is totally numbed emotionally. She has been renting a house since mid August and though (without much choice in the matter) I have detached and stopped pursuing her, she hasn’t once (since she went into the psychiatric hospital mid June) asked me how I am, or had any communication with me other than WhatsApp messages about childcare arrangements. After 11 years of marriage and 35 years of knowing each other, I found it so hurtful that she couldn’t even give me a reason for why she was divorcing me.
It is a rollercoaster of emotions, but nearly two months after BD I can definitely say that things are getting easier for me, I’ve reached the point of acceptance, I’m starting to sleep for longer periods without waking up in the middle of the night with anxiety and sadness.
I dropped my two older sons from my first marriage at their universities in the North of England on Saturday and driving home 200 miles was really difficult - W had the younger 2 kids for the weekend and the realisation that I will now be spending two weeks per month completely on my own really hit me hard. From a family of 6 to me on my own is NOT what I signed up for.
I’ve also been explaining to family and friends that I chose to live the rest of my life with two women and without any say in the matter from me, this has been snatched away from me - my first wife died tragically and STBX wife is divorcing me.
I cycled 102 km on Sunday with a good friend I’ve reconnected with, I’ve lost 19kg since BD and am looking and feeling better than I’ve done in over twenty years. On the brief occasions where I take the younger kids to their mum’s house I’ve noticed her looking me up and down - at this point after she’s treated me so meanly I don’t even know if I’d take her back.
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
