Thank you so much for that!! It pains me how right you are. I am So focused on him and everything hes doing and saying, and Steve has certainly told me that more than once. I think that I am SO afraid of this divorce now that hes bringing it up, that I dont feel like I have any time to DB. So I feel like I have to pay attention to every little thing he does in hopes to catch something turning around and working in my favor.
I know Divorce doesnt necessarily mean the end, but it CERTAINLY feels that way. So feeling like ive finally started DBing and am clearly stirring up SOMETHING in him, is discouraging that the time is going to be cut short because his anger is bringing on Divorce.
I do feel like less and less I am focused on what hes doing and saying (especially these mean things being said out of anger) but when he brings the baby into it and threatens the custody issues and pushes things that involve her, it is something that ABSOLUTELY affects me more than ANYTHING. It makes all of this feel very dire, very urgent.Like I have to figure out WHY he is so mad so I can fix it and get him to stop bringing her up and bringing up court and custody, etc.
I just want time. I want some time to get used to living apart and not have to worry about everything everyday that he could throw in my direction.
I will try to word my posts more around myself and not about him I guess. Maybe that will help.
