you and Steve dissected things pretty well. All I can say is that you need to learn to trust yourself, your eyes, your eyes, your brain. You knew all of this - and that is my main point. YOU are capable of this and strong enough to turn it around, but it does help to have support to figure it out.
Keep on working.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.