Husband cheated, left, trying to DB

[SteveLW]

Wait. Back the train up. You are not separating his words from his deeds. All he has done so far is talk. Let me reword your paragraph:

Ok that makes sense. Blows my mind he would really be willing to talk about starting the divorce stuff out of anger. Its such a HUGE thing, and he is just willing to talk about doing it rather then try to figure out WHAT hes so mad about. Im hoping the anger means he still cares, but someone who cares about you doesnt treat you this way. I cant wrap my head around why he came here Friday and was actually pleasant for the first time in a week and then yesterday was just absolutely atrocious to me. And he knows it!

See? Talk is talk. Walk is walk.

He is talking to scare you. And it is working. He is being mean to scare you, and it is working. He is gaslighting you (alternating nice and mean) to scare you, and it is working.

Notice, you cannot control the first half of those last 3 sentences.....but the second half of each of them is well within your control. Stop letting his WORDS scare you.

Now, even if he suddenly grows the follow-through gene and files and presents you with papers....THAT STILL SHOULDN'T SCARE YOU. That is what talking to a lawyer is about. AND it is how you turn the tables on him.

H: "Here are the D papers for you to look over."
Kech: "Ok, I will have my lawyer look them over as soon as I find time."

Now guess who will be scared by words?!? See how this works?