I'm in a situation I need help with. I've been detaching the best I could, and I've definitely been 180'ing. My main focus has been working on being the best man and father that I can be. Last Sunday (9/9) I had a conversation with my wife. I stayed positive. I let her vent a little. It was a good conversation.
I don't know if I mentioned this before, but back in 2009 my wife threatened divorce. We were actually in a bad spot in our relationship. Our older daughter was an infant, and she would only sleep two hours at a time (breastfed). Neither my wife nor I got nearly enough sleep. We actually argued a lot for the only time in our relationship. We saw our pastor, and my wife changed her mind. Things went well for awhile. We had a second daughter.
During the conversation last Sunday, my wife said something like "the last time we had problems, you'd send me emails and texts telling me how sorry you were and that you'd change--but you aren't doing that this time." BTW, I did for the first two weeks before I found resources like this one. After the conversation I sent her a letter than I had held off sending her (because of detaching)... thinking maybe she just wants me to beg. The next day she was full steam ahead with the divorce paperwork. The whole situation was confusing. I went back to detaching, but she hasn't brought up the divorce paperwork since that day. I really don't know what I should do. I'm thinking about continuing to detach and 180 for at least a few weeks, but I don't want her to think I've completely given up. Maybe she's one of those that just wants her husband to acknowledge how much hurt he has caused.
