I'm now faced with a bit of an awkward situation and I am not sure what the best way forward is in order to be true to my values, brave, but also self-compassionate. I am supposed to go on a bike-camping trip this coming weekend with a group here in town. However, last night I overheard someone mention that the OM who the W is/was seeing is going on the trip as well. I could have misheard it, but I doubt it. I'd really like to go on the trip as it is a great escape from the city and I have been looking forward to it for a while, and I will have a number of friendly faces there. But I don't think I would enjoy it at all if this guy is there. It would be a small group - less than a dozen people, so it would be hard to escape him.
I don't know if the OM is aware that I am going on the trip. Nor am I sure how many of the other people on the trip know about the OM and my W (everyone knows that we are separated.) My thought is to reach out to the leader of the trip to see if she knows if he is going. Unfortunately, everything is a little disorganized and I don't think she even has a clear sense of who is going. I really don't want to show up on Saturday and then just turn around when I see this guy and cause a scene. I also have to arrange care ahead of time for my pup.
Am I being a wimp? Should I just go and say F#%k him? I feel betrayed by OM even more because we were friendly, and I had talked to him a good bit post BD before my trip (and obviously before finding out about him and the W.) I value spending time with friends, as well as exercise, and getting out in nature, so this trip is perfect for me. I also want to do more things that scare me, to stand up to my fears. But, I don't want to be miserable out there, and the thought of his face almost makes me nauseous.
I'd appreciate any advice.
Is the trip paid for? If not, make up something for yourself. If it is, can you get reimbursed or reschedule some events?
You're not being a wimp, imo. Why go on something that is supposed to be along the lines of GAL when all it will do is whip you back deep into your painful sitch? Standing up to your fears is one thing, but when I say that,I mean you're doing things like skydiving or white-water rafting, or standing up to your bully that tormented you. Going on a trip in which you may have to face him just sounds awful. I'd never go.
