Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 4

[Davide]

Thanks LoneWlf,

I was fortunate to be spared the brunt of the storm. Just a lot of rain and a little wind, didn't even lose power. I know that people in other parts had it much worse. The W sent a quick email saying that she hoped that I and the dog were ok. The MIL also sent a message sending blessings during the storm. I didn't respond to either.

I'm now faced with a bit of an awkward situation and I am not sure what the best way forward is in order to be true to my values, brave, but also self-compassionate. I am supposed to go on a bike-camping trip this coming weekend with a group here in town. However, last night I overheard someone mention that the OM who the W is/was seeing is going on the trip as well. I could have misheard it, but I doubt it. I'd really like to go on the trip as it is a great escape from the city and I have been looking forward to it for a while, and I will have a number of friendly faces there. But I don't think I would enjoy it at all if this guy is there. It would be a small group - less than a dozen people, so it would be hard to escape him.

I don't know if the OM is aware that I am going on the trip. Nor am I sure how many of the other people on the trip know about the OM and my W (everyone knows that we are separated.) My thought is to reach out to the leader of the trip to see if she knows if he is going. Unfortunately, everything is a little disorganized and I don't think she even has a clear sense of who is going. I really don't want to show up on Saturday and then just turn around when I see this guy and cause a scene. I also have to arrange care ahead of time for my pup.

Am I being a wimp? Should I just go and say F#%k him? I feel betrayed by OM even more because we were friendly, and I had talked to him a good bit post BD before my trip (and obviously before finding out about him and the W.) I value spending time with friends, as well as exercise, and getting out in nature, so this trip is perfect for me. I also want to do more things that scare me, to stand up to my fears. But, I don't want to be miserable out there, and the thought of his face almost makes me nauseous.

I'd appreciate any advice.