I think it is a perfectly fine boundary to have that your W shouldn't be on a dating site while still living with you. It is reasonable to tell her that she needs to leave if she wants to date. Nothing wrong with that side of things.
It looks like you have been post BD for about a year now. Do you really think that she is going to move out now? Given her issues and the length of time she has continued to live in the house do you think it is possible she just tries to keep cake-eating? Also, if she is moving out you do need to discuss the financial arrangements since I assume you will have to pay some money in support. Maybe that is for Ls or mediators but that conversation does need to happen.
LH is completely right. You need to let her go and actually detach from her. Right now, she knows that you will put up with almost anything to save the marriage. It seems desperate. That isn't attractive at all.
I think that you will find that detachment and focusing on yourself is a lot easier if you aren't sharing a house. Of course there are downsides to it, and it can be brutally lonely, but I have found that actual distance and time without my W has really helped me let go emotionally.
Hang in there.
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
