Husband cheated, left, trying to DB

[LITB]

Hey Kech,

It is clear that your H's behavior is a source of unhappiness to you. I think it is a good idea to put some boundaries in place.

Have you put together a schedule? If you are going to discuss dissolution, that should be included.

How about setting up an appt(s) with an attorney?

I think that the dissolution convo petrifies you and it is causing you a significant amount of fear. Sometimes fear can paralyze us from doing certain thing. For example, seeing an attorney and placing boundaries, because it might feel that doing things means accepting the end of something that we treasure. I believe allowing fear to influence the way we navigate, leads us to the land of regret.

We can avoid reality, but we cannot avoid the consequences to reality. Prepare yourself, Kech. Remember....you and your H are not on the same team(aside from co-parenting). He does not have your best interest, which he has demonstrated. You have to proceed with that in mind.

Don't believe for a second that your H can't sense your fear and won't use it to his advantage to manipulate the sitch. Like you, he thinks he knows you well and I'm sure he remembers that you had agreed to be amicable. Don't get caught unprepared.

You don't need to help facilitate it, but you best be protecting yourself.

Yes, I am repeating myself here, because being prepared is that important.

I'd also suggest to find a couple of solid people that you can rely on for support. Like helping get task around your house taken care of. Is your family still unaware of your sitch? I think you said you have a brother(s)? Don't be proud.

You are doing great. This is a process. Keep doing your thing and keep posting.