The posters have given you excellent advice. The most important person right now is YOU. You need to focus on you and your needs. I am glad that you are going to see a professional. It's going to take a lot of hard work and patience to get to the other side, but you can do it.
Right now, it seems like the world is spinning too fast and the pain/numbness are going to stay...but in time, that will change...but it's going to take time. Many of us contemplated ending things, i.e., thinking that it was the easiest way to stop hurting...but you also have to think about the people who care about you and how they would feel if you left this earth. Contemplating suicide is not the answer...but getting to the other side of the pain and seeing that there is life out there and you can be happy once again is.
Please continue to post.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
