Unfortunately I am back. I posted a few times a few weeks ago. I left this time, went to a hotel and took 119 oxycodone s, I had my gun but I didn't get to use it. I dropped on pill down the sink but all those pills did was make me sick. I came back home and told my Dr. He switched my antianxatiry meds and put me on an anxiety pill if I promised not to take them all in a day. No don't waste your time with a crisis line. I am not I. Crisis, I just don't want to go through this any longer. There is no hope and I couldn't get over the innocence that was lost. It can never be obtained again. So I am going to see a counselor this week. Do that is progress. I guess that I want some tools so that I don't obsess over being replaced. I don't know it that stuff is only real for those wishing go grow and get better. I just wanr large parts of my me to be numb and gone
