What are your boundaries? You keep saying that you are not okay with the current situation, but are you ready to ask him to move out, or ask him for a divorce? If there are no consequences for not respecting your boundaries he will keep doing what he is doing. He gets to live at home, eat your food, be with the kids when he wants, but also just take off and "climb mountains" whenever he wants. It's win-win for him.
I'm not an expert in in-house separations but it sounds absolutely brutal as you have to deal with him and his selfish behavior on a daily basis. As much as I have hated the 5 month separation from my W, I feel like the distance has allowed me to detach more and focus on myself. I would imagine that you would reach a point where you would simply prefer not to have him in the house, and then the decision becomes clear.
Good luck!
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
