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Originally Posted by Fin831
The time? or the actions?
Is it mostly the time that passes that takes an MLCer out of MLC?
or is their faulty actions that pushes them further along?
I sense that you already know that nothing you do will help her along her path, and that you need to focus on yourself and adult children. However until we get a certain level of understanding it is hard to look away, there are questions that seem to need answers. I understand.
Time or actions.
In my opinion the MLCer does not see their actions as faulty, they are doing what they believe to be right, their only choice left to them, what they are driven to do.
As time progresses, and with the space you give her, your W may calm down, may see moments of her life in a different light. Eventually may even question the path she is on, just as much as she questioned her life before which lead to BD.
So with time the MLCer actions can be revealed to themselves - maybe.
This takes time, no way around it. The faultiness of their actions, or the degree of wrongness does not matter, most have affairs, some do not, both are just as stuck in the mess that is MLC. Those faulty actions are just them running from their pain, they really mean very little.
So mostly time. When and if they awaken then their actions, and the degree of, will play a larger part.
A very interesting question. I hope to hear from you soon.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
