Just starting! Need some emotional support! #2

[Stryk2]

So far this weekend has been pretty busy. I spent some quality time with D and we had a blast. I bought some tools for a couple of side jobs I booked to make about a thousand bucks over the next month.

Tomorrow we have another busy day planned. W texted and called unsolicited regularly over the last 2 days with info about trip. Looks like S is going to commit to this college. Happy and scared for him. Big decision and far far from home. We talked over FaceTime about the pros and cons of the school as well as others. Mixed feelings aboit the news. I figured this was going to be the fork in the road for W and I. The circus will be done as far as school research and traveling.

FIL called me today to discuss sons options and W and I. He wants to help us out financially but only if we work on M. (Her parents are very well off.) He's afraid if he paid off bills for us (her) she will just continue spending and wanted my thoughts. I told him the spending will definitely continue. He hopes the money will take some of the financial stress off W and help the M. I told him to save his money because for him to help, he would have to see what she is spending and what she owes, No way she wants him to know or see how she spends and how much she (we) owe.

I told him I had no idea what she is thinking about M and what her short term or long term goals are about the M. He wanted to know what I thought about our relationship. I just told him we are like roommates who get along. No affection and zero talk about our R. He has offered to pay for counseling and she won't even admit to there being a problem. My MIL is from divorced parents who quickly remarried to spouses with kids then had kids of their own. She was caught in the middle and didn't feel wanted or loved by either family. This came out as a parent and she admits she didn't know how to show love to her children.

She doesn't want our Son to be part of a second failed relationship and our D to be in her first. I get both of thier concerns and appreciate them wanting to help but my W is on her own. Either W doesn't want to face reality, can't afford to face reality or is just buying time. She definitely isn't saving to move out.

From some of the reading I've done in the past, I've read she may have an affair to get me to leave, do something to make me leave so she doesn't have to be the "Bad guy", or wait me out until I leave. Especially since I haven't been reacting to her and starting arguments to justify her leaving.

Something I wanted to ask the group. The last couple of days, I've been reminiscing a lot about better times with W and hoping for them to return. I'm guessing this is part of the rollercoaster and I'm about to take a dive down from these positive thoughts back to reality. Did everyone else go through the negative positive thought rollercoaster?