Just voicing a thought/that reoccurs pretty regularly. This sort of fear that takes over, that if I leave her alone for too long she is going to like it and get over me totally and never come back.

She has told me she still loves me, is afraid of losing me, is attracted to me, just this last Tuesday. She has told others that if I can be consistent with what I was doing (talking to her, being open, dating, just being pushy in general, maybe even aggressive in some sense) that she would be open to working on things with me. Is this all just manipulation to keep me on the hook?

Being aggressive with my emotions towards her and sort of taking what I want, was something I never did with her. I was always very passive and sort of gave off an air of I dont care.

On the other hand, doing all of that with her is killing me inside while I know that she has OM. So for myself I feel as if its best to just sort of disappear for a while. I have not contacted her since I saw her Tuesday morning. And she has only texted me about the kids. She seems very very cold right now.

M: 29 W: 28
D: 8 S:1
M: 10 T: 11
BD1: 8//15 (physically separate)
Back together: 4/16
BD2: 3/18, physically separate 6/18)
Here we are again.