I feel like i am in a constant state of woe is me and i know i have to embrace a more positive outlook, but i am feeling the need to vent and i guess put it all out there in writing.
1. I have had this chronic sinus -cough thing thats making it really hard for me to function. They prescribe different meds and i am so sensitive to the side effects. Its really frustrating not having energy to do everything i need to do. And i am barely getting through my day. . My dr suggested it could be anxiety causing it and im now trialing a new med and im not sure its really a psycho somatic issue.
1. My jobs have just been so demanding lately. The pt demand is just so high and there is no down time. I am constantly being asked for more and while it would help me financially, i cant do it. I am sick and by the end of the day my symptoms just get worse and worse. (The positive point is that i have lots of options and i am good at what i do. I am never bored and there are constant learning opportunities. )
2. I feel like i struggle in my school district. My son wants play dates so badly. But a lot of the other kids are part of sports teams on the weekends or do family time. I never really established a social group with the other moms. my son wants friends for weekend activities and begs me to reach out. But its akward here to do that on a constant basis. Yes, sometines i do. But in the beginning of the year its hard cause socially, you have to first interact a bit with the parent.s . Mention, "we should do a play date one day" first and then follow through. he does not understand that i cant just call someone out of the blue. .
I also feel like i was embarassed and did not quite fit in as a single mom living with her parents. I can get along and converse with parents but i do sense this isolation. Im not sure if its the norm for my area.
I also feel like i cant do enough. My school district is filled with high perforner parents and i cant keep up. Meetings, projects, activities. I thought i was doing well by getting to this sign up for extra classes an hour early. Well, parents were literally camped out on line way over 2 hours before hand so my son will be on a waiting list.
I just hate all the structured activities. It adds this huge component of stress. And then im trying to get stuff done for my son and hes upset cause im not paying attention to him. And i know hes the priority, but i have all this logistical paper work to do for him and its always given to me when im with him.
