I have put in a request to have you taken off of moderation. It may take a couple of days for this action to take place, so please be patient. Also, I agree with Cadet, please stick to one thread until you reach 100 postings/replies.
There is no quick fix for the MLCer. They have to go completely through the crisis or they will eventually have another one that will begin where the last one left off. If this happens, it will be far worse the second time around. We all go through life transitions and if a person does not complete the life's transition properly, they will be set up for a crisis later on in life. MLC's main ingredient is depression. It's about childhood issues, issues that stunted their emotional growth sometime as a child/early teen. It could be any number of childhood issues, for example, abuse of any kind, parents not validating and recognizing them for their accomplishments, bullying by a parent or an authority figure, etc.
If you sit and just listen to what they are saying, you can actually sift through the MLC mumbo jumbo and figure out what they are really trying to say. Right now, you are in the early stages and it's going to take a while for things to settle down just a wee bit. Get plenty of rest, find GAL activities to help you get your mind off of what she's doing and one thing for sure, dig deep for patience. This is not a sprint...but a marathon.
One last thing...do not try to tell her what is wrong w/her. She does not want you doing this because, in her mind, there's nothing wrong w/her except that she's not happy w/her life, relationship and you. This is her journey and one that she needs to complete in order to hopefully come out the other side a whole, mature woman.
Keep the focus on you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
