Thank you so much. We havent had any big convos in person, he usually will text me when he wants to say more serious things. He has said he feels we communicate much better through text, which is true, we do. I think I shut down in person and he gets really worked up and it just is never productive.
Im sure I made a face the other day when he asked me if I didnt want him helping around the house anymore. I was caught off guard and really unsure what to say. And I know he wants us to go over whatever dissolution of marriage paperworks he has, and THAT is going to be VERY hard. Lately he has been the emotional one and I have been steady in being upbeat, trying to keep things positive. He has been crying some days, has a hard time leaving he says, etc. I think going through the paperwork is going to be a very hard situation for us both, but I think I will be able to keep a poker face. My biggest fear is that I want more time and I dont know how to say that to him without coming off as needy or clinging on. I think deep down he is not ready for it either, but he says it out of anger and has probably convinced himself it is for the best.
We will see next week I guess how that goes, but its going to take a lot out of me emotionally and i am going to do my best. He will be emotional as well I predict. I hate it. I think any resistance I show towards divorce he will say hes annoyed with, even if deep down he agrees with me. We will cross that bridge when we get to it I guess.
I have not been the one to discuss us or any serious topics in a very long time. Sometimes it seems like he wants to so he will try to get me into a convo through text and i havent really been giving in. This anger hes showing towards me definitely has almost pulled me in, just to tell him to STOP being this way, but I didnt and I wont. I am trying to at least pretend to be detached even though I am far from it.
Thanks for your words! This all means so much to me and every post helps move me further
