Keep DB M. You need to show a different Matrix. Don’t pursuit, detach and GAL as Steve says. And believe nothing that they say...(yes, what your W and your/her friend/EA say). You need to act with confidence and set some boundaries. Remember boundaries are about you and your environment. Get her respect.
Be patient. It takes time. You can do it M.
Thank you for the encouraging words. Again, my biggest challenge right now is tending to my wife’s needs, learning to listen, pay attention, compliment her, be supportive, etc. – all the things I neglected for the first 13 years of our marriage. What makes things complicated for me is how to achieve all of those while showing detachment. If I detach, she thinks something is wrong. She wants us to talk more, she likes to converse, she wants to feel like she has someone to talk to. If I go dark emotionally on her, she thinks something is wrong. That’s also part of the reason why she felt the need to have someone else to talk to in the first place. I was a shitty listener for 13 years, mocked her and her sense of humor, her wants, dreams, etc. I was a pretty big [censored].
M (LBS): 41, W (WAS) : 40 M: 16Y, T: 22Y Kids: 11, 9, 9 A: since 2015 DB: since July 2017
